Can't Extinguish Stars
by gathers-no-moss
Summary: "I wish I may...I wish I might..."


Title: Can't Extinguish Stars

Summary: J/K

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost, or anything affiliated with them. It I did, I wouldn't be writing this. I also don't own the quote: 'Dark waters cannot extinguish love.' It comes from another show: Once and Again.

Notes: Any mistakes in grammar and spelling are mine. This is the first Lost fic I've posted. Please leave reviews. Flames and constructive criticism welcome.

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Kate stared at the twinkling lights above her, uncertain about which one she should wish on. Should she wish on the brightest one, or the first one she saw? Should she wish. . .? Her eyes clouded with visions of the past, hoping for just one more chance to show him how much she loved him. Just one more chance. _I wish I may, I wish I might . . ._

"Dark waters cannot extinguish love." His deep and sensual voice sent a ripple of awareness through her. She shivered with delight. Just the sound of his voice whipped color into her cheeks, making her feel alive again.

"Thank you," she whispered in prayer. She rose in one fluid motion, standing just a bodies width away from him. A sexy grin covered his face, and his chocolate brown eyes stared in to hers. _How she had missed those eyes. _Eyes that she sometimes thought could see into her very soul.

A slow, sweet smile spread across her face in response to his. "What?"

"I heard it on television a couple years ago," he explained, staring into her shining green orbs. He swayed closer to her, feeling her body heat colliding with his. _God, she was beautiful._ "At the time, it sounded corny, but . . ." He shrugged his shoulders. "It kinda sounds nice . . . and romantic."

Her voice took on a breathy sound, one that a few years ago would have embarrassed her. It still amazed her how just his presence could turn her into a love-sick school girl. "What does that mean, though?"

A twinkle of moonlight caught in his eyes. She looked more delicate and ethereal than ever. He almost said the words out loud, but he had a feeling she would more than object to being called delicate. Instead, he made himself comfortable in the sand, stretching his long legs out before him. "I think it means, love can conquer all."

She plopped down beside him, in a position that, if anyone else had done it, would have been called ungraceful. But this was Kate. And she was anything but ungraceful. "Well, when you say it like that . . . it still sounds corny." A strand of stubborn hair flew across her cheek, and she pushed it away, amusement in her voice. She turned her head to look at him, her eyes recalling unspoken memories from long ago. "But nice."

His mouth twitched with amusement. She'd never been one for overly romantic overtures. But that hadn't stopped him from planning them. "You remember that midnight picnic I planned for you?" He stared back at her, his own eyes filled with memories. "As I recall, you enjoyed it very much. The word corny never even entered your vocabulary."

The laughter faded from her voice. _How could she forget?_ She glared at him from beneath her lashes. They had only one rule on these nights. They could think, but not talk about their past together. Memories should be kept to themselves to lessen any pain they might cause.

But her brief flash of anger disappeared as quickly as it had come. She sighed. It was no use staying mad. Because it seemed, no matter what they talked about, the pain would always be there. Like a flash of lightening out of the clear blue sky. Though it never disappeared as fast. Never truly went away.

Her voice turned to a hushed whisper. "I remember." Kate hugged her legs to her body, pressing her face into her knees. "I wake up sometimes in the middle of the night . . . for no reason. And a memory will pop into my mind. The first time we kissed. The first time we made love. It stays there until I think I'm going crazy." She lifted her head to met his, her eyes glazing over with every word spoken.

His eyes were understanding and gentle, but inside he was trembling. He'd never realized how 'broken' she could be at times. He'd never thought . . . not his Kate. Not his strong, beautiful Kate. He let out a long, audible breath, holding back sparkling tears. "Sometimes I'll play a memory of you so many times . . . and I'll know every freckle, every hair, everything you've ever said to me." For him, the memories would never stop coming. He didn't know what he would do if they ever did.

Tears of frustration gathered in the corners of her eyes, slipping down reddened cheeks. She brushed them away with a flick of her wrist, before responding. "Everyday, I think of something I want to tell you, something I want to show you . . . it's painful. Sometimes I wish . . ."

He braced his hands against the sand, more to keep himself from comforting her with a touch than for any sort of balance. "Don't," he interrupted. "You can't keep doing this."

Against her better judgment, she peered closer into his eyes. Love and forgiveness shown with such intensity that she had to avert her own from their brightness. Terrible regrets that she desperately tried to keep buried assaulted her, bringing her back to a day so many months ago. Her head fell into her knees again, recalling best forgotten moments. How could she have said those horrible things to him? She didn't . . . she didn't deserve what he was giving to her. What everyone was giving to her.

She raised her tear-stained to the ocean before her. But maybe, she thought with clarity, this was her punishment. To be able to look and not touch. For him to be within her grasp and then be pulled away.

He eyed her suspiciously, knowing instinctively what she was thinking. "You know, I hate it when you beat yourself up over something that can't be changed."

"You know me so well." Why was he so understanding? Thoughtful? Protective? The apology flew from her mouth. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged his shoulders in exasperation, letting out an agitated sigh. "I didn't come here for an apology. And I didn't come here to argue." A tenderness that hadn't been there the moment before floated from his mouth. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Thank you," she whispered. Kate turned her head again to look into his face. Try as she might, she just couldn't keep her eyes away from him. "Why are you so good to me?" He opened his mouth to answer, but she continued before he could. "Don't answer that. I already know what you'll say.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she repeated. "Sometimes I think I'll never be okay again. Other times . . . I'm smiling and laughing along with one of Hurley's jokes. Helping Claire with Aaron. Even Sawyer . . . he helps me too."

"I'm glad," he admitted, swallowing the jealously that clung to him whenever Sawyer's name was mentioned. He immediately felt guilt and shame course through his body. Sawyer was one of her closest friends. He couldn't begrudge her that. No matter how much it hurt to do so. But he couldn't help it . . . he should be the one making her laugh, not Hurley. He should be the one comforting her, not Sawyer.

She watched the differing emotions playing out on his face, knowing exactly what he was thinking. Knew he was worrying about Sawyer.

Forgetting the second rule, she reached out her hand to touch him, to comfort him. To tell him that he was the only one she needed. The only one she loved. She longed to feel his warmth against her skin. A touch, that just for an instant could send all her pain and worries away. But she pulled it away at the last moment, silently reprimanding herself for her foolishness. Touching was strictly forbidden. Even in moments like this, where it was something they both needed. Something they both wanted so desperately to have.

Disappointment clung to his body in shades. The moment she'd pulled her hand away . . . the undeniable and dreadful facts rushed through his mind, extinguishing any happiness he had felt that night.

Jack stood up, brushing the sand from his jeans. "Maybe I should go."

"Don't, please." Kate stood up beside him, brushing her hair away from her face. "You just got here."

Their situation was like a beautifully twisted dream. "I know," he whispered hoarsely. "Every time . . . it gets harder and harder to let you go." A longing echoed in the depths of his eyes. "In the end, though, it's better this way."

"No." He voice rang strong in the night, startling both their senses. "Stay with me." A year ago she would have been embarrassed by the pleading in her voice. Not now. Not ever again. "I miss you."

He shook his head sadly. Even through the sadness, there was a twinkle in his eye. "I miss you too." He stuffed his hands into his pockets, backing away slowly. "I love you, Katie."

She watched his form disappearing into the night, tears free falling down her cheeks. "Don't leave," she repeated, even though she knew he couldn't hear her words. Couldn't hear the love in them.

"I love you, too." _Too late,_ her mind whispered. _Too late._ She covered her face with her hands, anguished sobs breaking over her body. Her cries died away into the night, but the other castaways knew what was happening.

"I heard they had a horrible fight the day he died,"a blond woman whispered. "It's been six months. When is she going to give up?"

Sun stopped in her tracks at the statement, glaring at the woman who had spoken, before turning a sympathetic look to Kate's form. "She lost the man she loved. You don't stop. You never stop."

Above Sun's voice, they heard a whisper. "I wish I may, I wish I might . . .

THE END


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